“A Vibrator? Me? At my age?!”

That’s a pretty common response when I recommend — actually prescribe — using a vibrator to the patients I see in my menopause practice. I live in a small city in the middle of the Midwest, where sex aids are of course in use — as they are everywhere and for millenia — but they are hard to find and almost never openly discussed, at least not among the generation hitting menopause right now.

But, yes, Virginia, a vibrator, for you, and especially now. Here’s why… As we approach menopause, our sex hormones are in a constant state of flux. Perhaps flooding our systems one minute, depleted the next. What they are, especially, is unreliable. They are just not reliably there when you need them to do their work in bringing you to arousal, helping to lubricate your vagina, to make sex possible, much less pleasurable.

Then, once we have fully reached menopause, our hormones are more predictable, but they’re in shorter supply. That might not bring any measurable sexual changes for one woman, but for another, it can feel like a door has been shut in her face. Her vaginal tissues may not respond to the same sexual stimulation that always worked in the past. That can leave some of us feeling as if we have just stopped functioning, sexually.

Of course, the whole point of this blog and our website is to share the news that it ain’t over until you say it’s over. The secret to keeping sex alive after menopause is MORE. Follow our recipe: More knowledge, more lubrication, more stimulation, more intimacy, more exercise.

What came without trying when we were young — reading the small print, responding to sexual stimuli — now requires assisted devices. Reading glasses… and a vibrator. (And moisturizers, maybe dilators, a sexy movie or two, a pillow?…)

But especially vibrators. And not just any vibrator, but a vibrator with more power and endurance than a young girl needs. Clitoral stimulation at our age needs to overcome the sluggish circulation in a clitoris that, if unused, will go dormant, pulling up into the body. Our vibrators need more power, over a longer period, to replace that circulation and encourage a clitoris to come out to play.

Written by Barb DePree, MD

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